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Nice sellable graduation picture. Soft make-up, skin tones, and cute hair. The sweater doesn't work well with the surrounding and distracts from the face. As for a portrait gallery shot I think it's over softened for her age, the over exposed areas are very distracting, the eyes are going off in an unnatural position, her face is smashed giving it some distortion, her expression is a bit uncomfortable and her body position seems uncomfortable. Think silver necklace breaks up her beautiful neck line and distracts. Bit of folaige on the sleeve seems like an oversight. Her top hand could have been posed neater.
How to fix. Reserve the soft focus for older ladies that need a bit more correction to conseal fine lines and wrinkles, camera angle a little more to the right would have calmed down the over exposure by the sun, the eye cut is overdone - a little more towards the camera would have given a better effect, have the model hold the face just next to the arm - not right on it. Bringing up her body posture a bit would have given a more geometric composition to her body.
A very nice portrait of a very pretty model, but for my taste the over exposure on the left and the direction of the eyes (I agree with Wen P they appear a little unnatural) mean it is not quite a gallery pic.